What Happens When…

What happens when you wake up one day and realize that all of the goals you set for yourself as a young woman are mostly complete?  You are now in your 40’s and have checked the boxes you set for yourself in your early 20’s.  Things like:

Attain a bachelors degree – check

Get married – check

Start career and climb up corporate ladder – check

Buy first home – check

Buy 4 door, practical car for future family – check

Have first child – check

Work on climbing corporate ladder more – check

Have second child – check

Buy larger home – check

Continue climbing corporate ladder

You realize you’ve checked all the boxes.  Everything seems to be going swimmingly.  Your oldest is approaching the end of high school.  Your youngest, still in elementary school, but growing quickly.

What now?  What goals do I set now?  I am interested in setting goals?  I have had a good career and while I’ve done well I haven’t attained all the career goals I have thought I would.  But is it worth to reach for more?  Will it fulfill me?

This is where I am at in my life.  And so far I discovered that this has been a wonderful time to discover more about me.  Who I am, what I’m doing and as Oprah would say, how to live my best life.  I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself and it’s been a tough but satisfying journey.

I have re-discovered friendships.  For so many years we were all so busy raising children and running them around that we didn’t have time for friends.  Now we are all starting to free up and we actually get to socialize with them more.  The teenager can babysit the younger one on occasion.  We can meet for dinner.  We can meet on a Sunday afternoon to listen to a band at the local watering hole.

I have time to work on my relationship with my Savior.  I get to think deeper thoughts and explore where I want to go with my relationship with Him.  I am learning to surrender myself to His will.  

You also get to find out that your children are pretty cool.  You can start to have real conversations with them.  Talk about their hopes and dreams.  Enjoy their sense of humor, which is for me is the most amazing thing.  I love to laugh with them about stupid stuff and family jokes.

This is turning out to be a really awesome time.  It’s making me look forward to my 50s.  I am hoping that I’ll get to travel more with my husband and continue to watch my children grow and start to fulfill their own dreams.

What happens when you reach your late 30s and early 40s and you realize that you accomplished most of your goals?

I am pretty sure I don’t have the definitive answer for it.  But for me, so far, it’s been about re-discovering who I want to be, to have the luxury of more time for friends and watching my children blossom into young adults.


It’s a Hairy Situation


Vanity Post #1

ImageI mentioned in a previous post that I’m a pretty vain person.  I’m not proud of it.  Sometimes I even try to work on it and be a little less vain.  Not with my hair.  I use a lot of products to try and have beautiful, glossy, un-frizzy hair.

Back in the day I had perfectly straight hair.  You know, when curly perms were in.  Now that straight hair is in my hair has turned hormonal.  Crazy cow licks and frizz everywhere.  Throw in thick, unruly gray hairs and you have a mess (breathe…the gray hair is colored).

This is just like when I had a flat stomach and high-waisted jeans were in.  Now that I’ve had two children and am in my 40s the low-rise jeans are in and let’s just say that no one wants to see my belly now.  Not even me.  My body and fashion are totally out of sync.

So here I am, living in humid Florida with hormonal hair still believing that I can attain straight, glossy hair. I’m not even sure that’s possible here.  But I try.  I really try.

Hence the picture of all the products above.  It’s really ridiculous how much time I spend on my hair.  Thankfully I only wash my hair every 3rd day.  But the days I wash my hair takes a ridiculous amount of time.  It’s like I’m a teenager again.

First I wash with the Loreal products above.  Sulfate free (I’m told this is essential but who really knows) and hydrating for the hormonal hair.  I buy this stuff at Target.

Then I smooth in some Moroccan Oil.  I buy this stuff at Target, too.  I just started using it and I like it a lot.  In the past this kind of product has made my hair look oily but this one doesn’t.

Now I begin the blow drying.  I use a brush by Goody that helps take the water out as I blow dry.

Next comes the Tea Tree Styling Wax and the Paul Mitchell Smoothing Gloss Drops.  I put a very small amount into the palm of my hand and mix together.  Then I run my hands through my hair to apply the product, careful not to get too close to the roots.

Finally, the flat iron.

All of this and my hair looks pretty decent.  A final spray of Paul Mitchell Extra Body Firm Finishing Spray.  I really have to resist the urge here to coat my hair in hairspray.  I grew up in the 80s.  The days of AquaNet and feathered hair.  Everyone used to spray their hair until it wouldn’t move in hurricane force strength winds.  I try not to do that anymore because then it screams to everyone that I am old.  #helmethairsucks

Then I walk outside and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.  Ok, that’s an exaggeration.  This combo of products works pretty well.

This is just a pain in the a$$ to deal with on a regular basis.  I’m probably going to chop it all off this summer.  I really like Portia DeRossi’s short hair and might have mine cut to look like hers.  It’s probably better suited to my hormonal hair anyway.

Full disclosure:  here’s my hair in the 80’s, permed, teased and sprayed!



The Vanity of it All

One topic I haven’t addressed in my blog is my own vanity. In the coming months I expect to write more on this topic. Sometimes I might I address my own feelings towards my vanity but mostly I will post about product reviews and fashion tips.

I hope you will let me know what you think as I post these topics. I am still finding my voice with this blog and that you will enjoy reading along with me on this adventure.

Buckle up folks because I am a pretty vain person!

I can do it all!

I can do it all…with the help of a few machines. It is 6 am. I am up, have a load of laundry in the dryer, am cleaning the wash machine and mopping my floors.


Now it’s time to get ready for the day. After which I will drop off my car for service, work a full day, pick up the car, run home, and then meet the in-laws for dinner.

Whew! I am all ready tired!

You can call me Frank

When it comes to discussing sex with my boys you can call me Frank. My mom did a great job of discussing sex with me and my siblings and I am trying to emulate her in my own style. You could discuss anything with my mom and she said we should consider it to be like talking about your elbow. It’s just your body and you shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about how it functions.

Having said that, I have been surprised by some of the questions that have come my way. Other children with older siblings and unlimited access to the Internet have helped my sons pose questions that I wasn’t prepared to answer. I won’t repeat the questions because they were pretty graphic. But it did lead to a discussion about healthy, normal sex between two loving partners.

Here is one tip…bookmark urbandictionary.com. It helped me with my own education.

In the end, all questions have opened a door for me to share my opinions on sex, relationships and morality. There is nothing wrong with that, no matter how the door was opened. Don’t be afraid to walk through that door.